You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
