Soap is not a condiment
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
