she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
