She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
