Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
this will be a night to untag.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bring me that man meat
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