Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
