i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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