Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
