Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How external is "for external use only"?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
