So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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