Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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