chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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