I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hippo gnu deer
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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