Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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