proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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