There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He felt like a one man threesome
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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