My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
