would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize