i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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