when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
