the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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