physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize