This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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