moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
