My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
