You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
