I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
