none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
