Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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