Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
