this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
