And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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