Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
