i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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