she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
