Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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