the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
