My brain says no but my pants say off.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
