found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
