i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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