Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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