I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
