when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
