they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
