So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
