Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize