There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize