Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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