I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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