Barsexuality is the new black.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
