cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
