I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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