The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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