She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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