Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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