I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
