What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
