Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
