I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
