How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
