why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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